Seeing By Sensing: Sun enters Virgo

Recently, I read an account of one man’s experience at a darkness retreat, where he spent 82 hours in a “cave” designed to insulate its inhabitants from all outdoor light and sound. His description of his experience is surprisingly psychedelic, but one part that stood out to me was how, at one point a couple days into the darkness, he believed that he could “see” the objects in his room around him. He tests his own theory, reaching for the bed where he expected it to be, and realized he had missed by two feet.

This gave me a good chuckle, because I’ve also experienced something similar when confidently navigating my half-awake body to the bathroom in the middle of the night and thinking I can locate the toilet or sink without looking, and realizing that as sure as my body was about where that thing was, when my hand reached out and expected to find it, my hand found only air. The disorientation of that moment is humbling.

Another thing I found quite poignant about this author’s experience of the darkness retreat is how he became able to visualize moments in his life “gelatinous cubes” that he could pick up and rearrange and carry around. Gelatinous cubes is kind of a gross image to conjure, in my opinion, for what I immediately recognized as 4th house work. However, you need not lock yourself in a lightless room for 4 days in order to access this type of internal excavation.

Dearest Gemini rising, the sun is now in your 4th house. This is your 4th house season, and while you may have the gift of sight, you may find that there will be much more value in noticing through sensing, not just seeing, in these next few weeks.

The trails which have been blazing themselves through you (both your physical body and your essence) are nearing their inevitable end, and you will be left without a map, traversing this renewed internal terrain while relying solely on your five senses. Get curious about who you’ve been becoming over the last month, and also over the last two years.

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The new moon in your 4th house, on September 3rd, calls not only for inward exploration, but downward excavation. What gelatinous cubes of personal history exist within you when you really get down to the core of yourself—who you are when you’re alone, without distractions or an audience or any expectations placed on how to behave. If you were to spend multiple days in complete darkness, which memories would you least want to confront or circumnavigate as you process? I only ask because these are usually the pain points that need attention the most—but of course, don’t push yourself outside your window of tolerance.

The new moon asks you to get to the bottom of the issue—literally. This is the time for relentlessly pursuing the source of the matter, whatever that matter may be.

What associations do you have with this time of the year? Which memories are invoked by the turning of the light from one extreme to another, this liminal space before the equinox? Remember, rely more on what you sense than what you think when you’re tapping into the current of your memories. Be silent, and hear what your body has to say.

Don’t expect precision with yourself with regard to routines or cultivating your vision right now. A solid bed of self-trust makes it easier to release perfectionism and embrace flow states. Remember that you don’t always have to be in charge.

Thank you for reading.

My 4th house guidebook, Homecoming, is available here.